What People Has Said to Me When They Really Shouldn’t Have

If you can’t say anything nice, then don’t say anything at all, was a rule my mother taught me; but its does seem to me that there are certain people who just don’t abide by that rule. Here are what people has said to me when they really shouldn’t have.

We all has encounter certain people who think they can talk freely, about whatever comes into their head. I’ll admit I do the same – but the different here is when I do it, I always think before I speak. But for some people, they haven’t learnt that trick and it just border on complete rudeness.

I was always taught, if you can’t say anything nice, then don’t say anything at all. But the number of people who just seem to ignored this and think they all high and mighty by saying whatever comes into their head. I can’t help but feel some people do need to take heed and really think before they speak. I wouldn’t say it to you – so why say it to me?

These are genuinely real statement that people has said to me when they really shouldn’t have. To them, they probably thought I would take it all in good humour when it all it does is just make me feel terrible as a person.

When I was pregnant, this is what a woman who comes up to me and said while working at my old place. To this day, I never forgot it.  ‘’When your baby is born, it going to be huge.’’

Yup she really said that. Ok picture this scene, I was desperately trying to keep my baby in me. I had loads of medication to help me keep it in, one such was a course of steroid which was designed to stop me having a miscarriage. The side effect was weight gain and yeah I did balloon up.  It wasn’t great but I was fighting a battle to keep my little baby in me.  One afternoon a colleague came up to me – well corned me in the bathroom and said this: ‘’ ’When your baby is born, it going to be huge”. I was absolutely flabbergasted and I was ready to tear her in pieces (well they do say, don’t mess when a pregnant women) but a top manager came in and I decided to let it go so I walked out. I since refuse to ever speak to her again. The irony (if you want to call it that!) the baby wasn’t growing and was tiny.

Which does lead me to my next point (and explained what happen next in my pregnancy).

Why are you still child-free?

Where my parents live, it’s the most family friendly area around. It’s just outside of London and it the quaintest Christian English village in the whole of the UK (that what I think anyway). The whole area is designed for family as there is schools, playgroups, etc. So one afternoon while minding my own business, I bumped into this lady I’m on good term with. I always greet someone politely and with good manners. But it wasn’t returned to me. She blurted out that It was strange I didn’t have a child yet, and asked why I was child-free. Yup she really said that. I sighed as I didn’t really want to tell someone my whole pregnancy issue, so I politely changed the subject and started to say good bye to her. Once I got home I sat down and wrote Why I’m ok with not having children.  If anytime someone point out to me on why I’m still child-free, I now just point out that article.

Moving on….

How is retirement going?

Lately, when I tell people that I work for myself, I’ve been getting this response, ‘how is retirement going?’. Err, what. I’m not retired – I still work but just in comfort of my own home. I’m not spending all day on a golf course or watching sky news. I work. I reckon people say this to me as it just jealously and they themselves would love to be anywhere but their work place.

Have you lost/gained weight?

Someone closed to me seem to be obsessed with people weight as she always remarking – either to me or to someone walking down the street about their weight.  It really grinds me and Richard often can see smokes coming out at me as I’m just flaring up under the surface. Ok sure I do seem to yo-yo my weight, but what I don’t want is someone constantly remarking about it.  Lots of people seem to have enough problem with their self-esteem without someone constantly belittling it.

How is your finance situation?

Another person who is close to me is obsessed with money! So every single conversation is about money. You can’t go more than 5 minutes without the mentions of money. So the topic of how my financial situation is going is never too far away. I always reply back that it going fine and it ok. I often think they do this as a way for me to spill the beans and to tell them exactly how much money I make each month. To those who are wondering, it enough to pay my mortgage, my gym and to go on day trips. I have to ask that person on how their financial situation is going?!

So that only a small snippet of what people has to me when they really shouldn’t have. I could be here all day.

So now I’m posing you the questions, I’m sure you have been in similar situation where people just speak out of context. What is the worst – or even the rudeness thing someone has ever said to you?

Please do tell me in the comment box and perhaps I can relate to it. We all been there and could quite happily wear the t-shirt.

Speak now or forever hold your peace.

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19 Comments
  • Great read!

  • Tricia
    June 29, 2017

    I worked in retail during 2 pregnancies. People thought they were hilarious asking me if I knew how it happened. Trying to embarrass me. I got so sick of this comment I started replying, “why yes, do our want details?” That would throw them off enough that they usually said no more.

  • jeremy - thirstydaddy
    June 29, 2017

    thinking before speaking really seems to be in decline

  • LeWahn
    June 29, 2017

    wow, you handled these situations so gracefully ! As I am approaching my mid 20’s I am not looking forward to these type of snarky remarks

  • Cristina Mandeville
    June 29, 2017

    People can be mean and crazy. People judge or think about your life when they do not know the real story behind you.
    Love who you are and do not let any trolls define or affect you. You are a great person 🙂

    PS:
    Stopping by from Blogger Social Media Group.

  • Natalie
    June 29, 2017

    Super true, I don’t know why people are driven to ask these kinds of questions!

  • Elle
    June 29, 2017

    I’ve been asked if I am “enjoying my hiatus” from work or enjoying my “early retirement” and how it “must be nice”! People are too much sometimes, and I decided that whatever they say to me or THINK they know, they really don’t. And they never even bothered to ask what I’m doing, working on or if I’m okay. Therefore, I can’t give their opinions my energy.

  • M
    June 29, 2017

    We need really to think before speaking. Evryone has a Story, a reason behind their actions.

  • Haute and Comely
    June 30, 2017

    People do not think through their actions anymore , do they? I get asked a lot when I’m having a baby, like its anyone’s business.

  • Lianne
    June 30, 2017

    Rude! The things people say. As if they can just do that and it won’t hurt anyone – or it doesn’t matter. Thankfully I don’t get many rude comments, but the most recent thing that kind of hurt was my aunt stating to my whole family (in my absence) that I gained weight. Uh, yeah because I’m ill and can’t work out because of that. Plus, it wasn’t even true to my knowlegde. Wrote a blogpost about it, just like you did 🙂

  • Musings Over Nothing
    June 30, 2017

    Someone shared this quote with me’ When you truly don’t care what anyone thinks of you, you have reached a dangerously awesome level of freedom!’.

    May you reach there soon.

  • Yuen Mi
    June 30, 2017

    There are so many things people just shouldn’t ask because seriously, you should respect someone’s privacy and lifestyle choice. Im almost 36 soon, childless, but have been in a relationship with Jose since grade 10. And trust me, everywhere we go we get the ‘When are you gonna marry?’ and the ‘No kids yet?’ questions. It’s annoying and most of the time, I just give out the most indecent answer I can think of at that moment to see their reaction. And in the end, I always say, ‘I lied’ and walk away giving them no answer at all. I never understand why people are so curious with other people’s life and choices. Go perfect your own.

  • heidi
    June 30, 2017

    First from someone who has had children that statement is so false just so you know I was super skinny and had a monster child. Yes one of my pet peeves has always been mean and negative people. I have never understood why people tend to feel ok to go there whenever they want.

  • Nancy Horn
    June 30, 2017

    I’m very careful what I ask people. I try to live by the rule that I don’t like certain questions directed towards me, so I try not to ask people certain, very personal questions. It’s not my business. People really need to think before they speak. My friend at my work was devastated last week when another coworker was asking everyone about how their Father’s Day was and told my friend directly that her Father’s Day didn’t matter. I think the coworker had meant since my friend wasn’t married and didn’t have kids, but my friend lost her father several years ago and telling her Father’s Day didn’t matter really hurt my friend. The co-worker is around 10 years older than us and had lost her father a long time ago. I’m sure that the co-worker wasn’t trying to be rude, but it was rude and my friend is still upset.

  • Anna Nuttall
    July 1, 2017

    Oh my god that is awful!! I was once sitting in my old work place canteen area having my lunch hour, minding my own business and dreading going back downstairs onto the shopfloor. A woman proclaimed to another woman that she glad her foster mother was dead! ( she was an angry bitter women, never liked her – she would tell everyone her lifestory that she was adopted and had an evil foster mother) (This women as well at the time just held a funereal where she buried her foster mother). What she didn’t realized was that women she was speaking to her – her mother just died as well and it was her first day back at work since hearing the news. There was tears and shouting.

  • Nicki
    July 1, 2017

    People like to make themselves feel good about themselves by bringing others down, that or they are just plain nosey. Fact of life

  • Leslie
    July 2, 2017

    Oh my goodness, these people! It is absolutely none of their business. If i were in the bathroom when that lady said that awful remark, i would’ve tripped her on the way out! Don’t let these dummies get under your skin, they are just bored with their own lives and need something else to think about.

  • Faye
    July 11, 2017

    My daughter was 6 month old and I still had the “mommy tummy”. I was taking my daughter in her buggy for a walk Anna a complete stranger walked up to me, asked, “when are you due?”
    I just kept walking and gave them that stink eye.

  • Faye
    July 11, 2017

    My daughter was 6 month old and I still had the “mommy tummy”. I was taking my daughter in her buggy for a walk and a complete stranger walked up to me, asked, “when are you due?”
    I just kept walking and gave them that stink eye.

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What People Has Said to Me When They Really Shouldn’t Have

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