I’m not keen on bloggers events
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Why I’m not keen on Blogger Events

by Anna Nuttall

I feel really bad and such a loser by writing this, but I feel I need to clear the air. Why I’m not keen on bloggers events.

I was at a blogger event not so long ago and once I left I received an email stating that I only turned up to receive the goodies bag and didn’t talk to anyone. Not going into details with the email, but it has brought up an issue I’ve been wondering whether to mentioned on here or not.

I’m a very shy person and often crippled with social anxiety. I never been a go out and meet people type, you might have guessed this if you been reading here. I tend to prefer a cosy night in with Richard, then going out to a club or to a venue in London that’s a nightmare to get to. I don’t think it my age that making thinking like this, I always been like that. I prefer spending money on clothes – rather than on drinks or going to a club.

However, I often try to get out of my comfort zone and fight my shyness by occasionally going out and attending certain events – especially any bloggers events. More so, since I’ve become self-employed as everyone around me keep telling me that it good to meet people and to be social. I tell myself I can do this; I can do this.

But once I’m at an event where I don’t recognize anyone or know anyone, I’m pretty much back to square one and just feel completely shy talking to anyone. So I often don’t know what to do with myself, so I just sit in the corner and try to work out how to approach people.

I think another issue is, as much as I like to say I’m 34 going on 21.  I’m no longer the cool 20 something blogger, I am a girl in her 30s who doesn’t really know how to fit in with people with her age and still like to pretend that she is the cool 20 something blogger.

I am also aware, that yes, I am a squash jelly bean and I’m not a tall long legged blonde. There have been times where I have turned up to an event and it not the ‘look’ they were looking for, so I get ignored all evening.  This also makes it harder for me and giving myself the confidence to go to event. I often think why do I even bother.

So to the original emailer, no I don’t go just for the goodies bag. I go to try and give myself confident to meet people, but my social anxiety often gets the better of me.

I will like to say, not all bloggers events have been bad. If I know someone, then that ok with me and I can hang around them all evening. Two head is better than one.

Does anyone else have that problem with blogger events? How do you overcome your shyness and social anxiety?

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12 comments

Lauren 14th January 2018 - 9:31 am

Wow what a really horrible email to receive. Networking is really hard and the organisers of that event should do more to make it easier and more natural to talk to each other.

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Anna Nuttall 14th January 2018 - 9:54 am

Yes, agreed. I prefer networking with people at trade shows, that I feel is a more appropriate setting than at an event where everyone scrambling for attention.

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Emma @ Adventures of a London Kiwi 14th January 2018 - 12:03 pm

Say, what!? That’s a crazy email to send or someone. I absolutely agree with you on the events front though, I’m just not a fan. That said, I do love to see you at things!

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Fiona jk42 14th January 2018 - 7:36 pm

How thoughtless the sender of that email is! I hate having to meet new people and having to pretend to enjoy myself at large event when I don’t know anyone, or when the only person / people I do know have got engrossed in conversation with someone else and I’m left on my own. I usually try to see if there’s someone else who looks as if they are having the same issue as me and go and speak to them. Failing that I go outside for some air and to collect myself, and then come back in again when I’m feeling better. You can always plead a headache if someone asks why you went outside.

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Anna Nuttall 15th January 2018 - 9:33 am

I might do that next time 😉 xx

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Lauretta Wright 14th January 2018 - 9:43 pm

Tell ’em to bugger off and mind their own business Anna….evidently they’re jealous of the success of your blog and the fact that you know so many other people. It’s clearly a jealousy act! We love you anyway!!! XXX

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Anna Nuttall 15th January 2018 - 9:33 am

Thanks, Lauretta. <3 xx

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Jessa 15th January 2018 - 2:18 pm

Whomever sent that email was out of line. I also do not enjoy going to blogger events, typically. For one, I’m 39, so same thing, not in my 20s and don’t care. Also, I hate “having” to over-share all the swag, that isn’t very exciting anyway. And I’m not super social. If I know someone there, then it’s okay, but otherwise I just want to hide in the corner. I guess it just depends on my comfort zone. But you are definitely not alone with your feelings.

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Ant 15th January 2018 - 9:09 pm

Anna, my advice to you is that you send her a link to this blog post. If I knew who responded that way, I would make it a point to not support them in their efforts to “connect” people. Holding an event like that is one to help others make connections – maybe give her some pointers on how to help people mingle a bit through some structured activity.

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LeeAnn | Girl Bosses Rock 19th January 2018 - 2:23 am

I’m so sorry you had to get an email like that! I can totally relate to your anxiety struggles though. I have struggled with social anxiety for a long time. In the military, I could get up in front of large crowds to give speeches and such, but showing up to events as a guest where I didn’t really know anyone was a whole different issue. After I retired, I had a very hard time with trying to make new friends. I would get invited to gatherings at different places and would almost always come up with an excuse as to why I couldn’t go. I just felt so out of place and out of my element. I have made great strides in overcoming some of it and have forced myself to go to events even when I don’t know anyone or have a “wing woman” to tag along with. I think there are many bloggers out there with similar issues but have found that blogging enables them to share themselves with the world like you do. I love reading your blog posts and you should just brush off any emails like that because it’s really not worth your precious time!

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Anna Nuttall 19th January 2018 - 10:39 am

Thank you 🙂 I think as you get older it does get harder and harder. xx

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Kyla Matton Osborne 19th January 2018 - 8:41 pm

Oh Anna, I’m so sorry that you received such an unkind email! I think it was brave of you to attend the event. Many of us introverts and older bloggers would have just stayed away. It’s a shame that the author of this message couldn’t see your effort to get out of your comfort zone, and instead try to help you meet a few people so you’d have someone to talk to.

If you ask me, it’s up to those who organize events to go out of their way to help people attending to make connections. If anyone failed, it’s the organizers who noted that you were alone at the event and did nothing to help you find a companion or make some new social connections.

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