This was a post I’ve been wanting to write for a while but it has been a case of waiting for the perfect time to write, I’ve also been restarting and rewriting this post as I’m kind of scared of the backlash I might receive by this subject but I’ve got my armor on so bring it on.

First I would like to say I never was a fan of the book, I understood its popularity and why people bought it in the millions and why it broke records. But I can’t help but think, really? It broke records and out sold JK Rowling and all other literary writers who deserve to hold the title of record breaking best-selling books, The Harry Potter series was so well-written and pure magic. To put this in perspective, Fifty Shades of Grey is the bestselling book of all time after selling 100 million copies worldwide while JK Rowling’s Harry Potter books have sold an estimated 45 million (however, you have taken into account the films, the theme parks, etc.). This makes me sad.

I’m a fan of being able pick up a book and get instantly hooked and lost, that happened with me when I read Before I Go to sleep as it was a page turner and you wanted to know what happens next. I also read ‘The Fault in Our Stars’ recently, and that was another book where it was a page turner and I couldn’t put it down. I bring this up as when I read the book ‘fifty shade of grey’ – I was bored and often felt like throwing my kindle across the room (I didn’t – don’t want to break the thing), the main criticism of the book is how badly it is written. This translates to how you read it as well, you didn’t feel like you are part of the story, just reading words on a page and you kept hoping it would get better and it never did.  I’m not the only one who thought this as you only have to read the reviews on Amazon to know what I mean.

My main gripe and criticism is not how the book is written or its popularity, but the main character Christian Grey.

You’re probably thinking why pick on him? What has he done?  From the author’s perspective he supposed to be the perfect guy; good looking, rich and a little on the horny side. It’s a female ideal of what we look for a guy.

But to my perspective he isn’t – personally I find him a sexual pervert and he get his kicks by hurting people when in a sexual relationship. Should we really be celebrating this and shouldn’t there be more alarm bells going off?

Some people do think I’m being silly – he’s a character from a book and isn’t real. I can’t help but think that there are ‘Christian Grey’ characters who love being dominant and having a sexually abusive relationship, should we as a society put them on a pedestal of how we want our guys?

I’m going to say no, it’s like 2 steps forward and 4 steps back. Isn’t this everything feminists have been fighting against over the last 50s or so years, where women want their freedom and equality? To me the book screams ‘sorry girls, the men are still in charge’. Do women want to lose their freedom and equality to a horny abusive guy?

This I feel sends out a worrying message, ok girls on Valentine’s Day you will be controlled and dominated by your partner and you have no say on the matter. I’m not saying there anything wrong with being controlled or dominated as long as it in a safe environment and you trust your partner.  What I’m saying is that this is completely sending out the wrong message to young girls who think this is normal and are willing to go along with it and might not even feel they have a say on the matter.

The book and film does have potential to increase violence towards women and that is worrying. While you might think I’m being over sensitive of the matter and there’s no real harm, I have read blogs where people do agree with me on this issue and there are others who happily turn a blind eye and just say ‘he’s so hot!’.

The feminist in me sometimes wants me to bang my head against a brick wall – c’mon girl have the last 50 years or so of women’s empowerment been all for noting? The ideological spectrum of the topic is all about stalking, harassing and complete control. This just takes us back to the Victorian age when women was there to be seen – not heard, you will obey your husband.

I never been in an abusive relationship, however none the less this is why I’m boycotting fifty shade of grey. It seems as if every bit equality feminists have fought over the last 50 odd years has all been for nothing – in reality we all want a Christian grey in our lives. Well not me, and I know I’m not the only one who think this, as campaigners against abuse and those who have been in abusive relationships have been about boycotting the film. I won’t be seeing it and I don’t plan on seeing it when it come out on demand either, I also deleted the book off my kindle and won’t be spending any more money on such a troubling subject.

Here are two blog posts worth reading:

http://theramblingcurl.blogspot.ca/2014/02/fifty-abusive-moments-in-fifty-shades.html

http://beckysaysthings.com/2012/07/09/becky-says-things-about-fifty-shades-of-my-life-ill-never-get-back/

 

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