Taylor Swift song 22 keep playing in my head today. As it my birthday this week, woo go me! Here I am a year older. So hey, I don’t know about you but I’m not feeling 34.
Dun dun dun folks, I am actually nearly reaching middle 34. How freakin’ scary is that? In my head I’m still 22 years old and still not reach full ‘adulthood’. I still like chocolate milkshake for breakfast, eating jelly babies and wearing odd socks. I’m still obsessed over my favorite pop star and collapse when I have a giggle fits.
Does that really sound like the behavior of a girl turning 34? Naaa… ‘’Hey, I don’t know about you but I’m not feeling 34’’.
The prospect of nearing my mid 30s filled me with dread. Scratch that, the prospect of getting old fill me with an even greater dread. I was convinced when I was younger that by the time I was ‘old’ (well at least in my 30s), clever scientist has worked out how to stop aging and how to be young forever. I was so sure that at the time I made a bet with my ex-best friend and we each betted £100 that by the time we’re proper adults, they have found a way to stop aging. Well I don’t know about you but I’m still waiting for that magic potion. Also as it stands it a damn good job we didn’t bet higher as I would be out of pocket!
Honestly, turning 34 does fill me with dread. I’m not ready for it. I’m still that same girl I was when I was younger. People has often remarked that I’m a young ‘30s’ girl and I don’t exactly act like a ‘grown up’, that because I’m still that same person I was when I was 18 or in my 20s. I’m a girl trapped in an older body. Errr how is a grown up supposed to look and act anyway?
I don’t know about you but I’m not feeling 34. Everything will be alright, if you keep dancing like we’re 22.
Another thing is as I find myself a year older, I’m still confused, lonely and happy in the best way. It both miserable and magical in the best way. I still don’t have all the answer to life. I often don’t know the best way to dissolve family fight or how to give the best advice in life. But that alright, I still got my compass and I still find my own path. I am that girl who like to have a backpack and to travel wherever the wind will take me. Well saying that I only do it if I got my partner in crime next to me (Richard, hubby) and if I got some money.
So the point of this little ramble is that on my birthday it will be both a cheer and self-pity party, I’m still very much undecided on how I feel aboutnearing mid 30s. I think whatever age; I still will be me. That girl who loves dancing in her oneses, eating jelly babies and having chocolate milkshake for breakfast. Who collapses when having a giggle fits (it actual term, it called Cataplexy) and still obsessed over her favorite pop star.
So are you ready to ditch the whole scene and to keep dreaming instead of sleeping?