alone time
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Alone Time

by Anna Nuttall

A lot of my friends as I was growing up thought I was crazy for not wanting to go out in the evening. But truthfully I actually enjoy being alone a lot of the time and would rather spend a night in with a good book than taking a trip to the local night club any day of the week. I’ve always been that person in my group of friend who hated going out.  I’ve never been one to enjoy making grand plans with my friends. Why am I bringing this up? Well I bumped into a woman where I use to friend with her daughter from my old town last week and we got talking and I was telling her that I’m now self-employed and work on my own, she asked if I ever get lonely and truthfully – no I don’t. This woman are the social type and love being around people so of course they wouldn’t understand why I enjoy working on my own. It did make me think I always been that girl who enjoyed her own company.

I’m not good at communicating with other people. Which probably sounds weird because I spend a lot of my time on talking to clients and on this blog, but it’s true. I’ve never got the knack of naturally spontaneously striking up a conversation with someone or make my presence known in a crowd of people. I’m just very shy.

I like being in my own head space. I’m an introvert. I personally don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. I always been like that. I went to a boarding school where I was surrounded by people all day long – my fellow class mates and teacher could never understand why I like having the library to myself an hour in the evening. One teacher even suggested to me that I should see a specialist to combat my introvert – luckily my mum soon shot her down.

Growing up, I would never raise my hand in class, but if I was asked personally by a teacher, I would willingly answer.  I just wouldn’t voluntarily be the first one to begin. I’m not anti-social, I’m just more comfortable being a people watcher. At school we use to have a class one day a week – PDP (personal development performance or something to that effect) where it was an open class forum and the teacher would bring up important issue such as sex, drugs and illnesses. I use to hate that class as this teacher (same teacher I was telling you earlier, she had a bee in her bonnet with me) would always pick me to start off the conversation. I never knew what to say and if I expressed my opinion (which was the whole point of the class) I get told it wrong. So I started trying to make any excuse possible to be late or go out of the class as it was causing me a great deal of anxiety.

My school also would forced me to join social club and I would hate it. I would literately burst out in tears – only to be told to grow up.I didn’t enjoy going to some drama club or doing ambulance cadet, I just wanted to be left alone.

alone time

I hadn’t really thought about it until now, but I’m sure this was a turning point for me on being very shy and being an introvert. I never was the typical teenager going shopping with friends (partly they all live far away from me), I was always reading smash Hits and watching MTV. I would genuinely enjoy doing this and my parents was more than happy leaving me in my own little world.

I suppose this trait about me turn people off or makes them less comfortable to approach me. However that can’t be further from the truth as in real life,  I’m super friendly and do love to talk and get to know other people, I’m just usually not the one who will actively  strike up a conversation with. That might make me appear kind of unfriendly if you don’t know me or at least trying to know me, honestly once you do strike up the conversation with me – I won’t shut up!

I guess I’m just trying to figure out how to balance both worlds.I’m quite happy going out with Richard and going to a cocktail bar – he’s quite a shy introvert like me and never enjoyed social events. We both do go out and meet new people for our work as if we didn’t – we wouldn’t make any money. However we don’t actively try to have a little social gathering. We just like to keep to ourselves in our own little bubble.

To anyone growing up thinking it weird that you enjoy alone time, don’t. As there is nothing wrong with it and remember there are other people who also are like that.

alone time

I have to ask, how do you spend your alone time?

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30 comments

Deborah Nicholas 5th October 2016 - 11:46 am

Im with you! I like going out occassionally but more often than not i would rather be at home with my little family, in my own little bubble!

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Vaishnavi 5th October 2016 - 12:43 pm

Oh yes! Can’t agree more – introvert that I am, I don’t feel lonely in the online biz world. I don’t think I ever will. Introverts have a place in this world too – and are as much likely to succeed in life, albeit in different fields 🙂

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Amie 5th October 2016 - 12:52 pm

I’m exactly the same! You can’t beat alone time #bestandworst

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bee 5th October 2016 - 1:45 pm

I love alone time – especially now I have kids! I often come across as stand offish because I feel so awkward in unfamiliar situations or with people I don’t know. Once you get to know me though – you can’t shut me up 🙂

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Anna Nuttall 5th October 2016 - 2:13 pm

That is *exactly* like me. Honestly I’m always the girl who sit right next to buffet at the party on her own. Not that I got to any party, mind you.

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Polly 5th October 2016 - 2:56 pm

I’ve always liked having alone time but now that I’m a mother, those moments are very rare! Being alone is refreshing and helps me clear my mind!

Polly
http://gemsandjoy.com

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jeremy@thirstydaddy 5th October 2016 - 4:42 pm

I find that the older i get, the more and more I enjoy being by myself, maybe because it’s so rare. Great advice to those that aren’t comfortable with themselves, there is always somebody else out there just like you #bestandworst

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Victoria 5th October 2016 - 10:08 pm

I can relate to this, my whole life people told me “be out of yourself,” the thing is I like being myself and being an introvert is what I am. I like spending time alone and reflecting on life, even if it is strange to others, it’s who we are and how we function.

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Keisha Baynard 5th October 2016 - 11:06 pm

Yes I think alone time is needed to regroup oneself

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Marie Moody 6th October 2016 - 2:24 am

Ahhhhhhhhhh Alone time! My very favorite past time… I love it because I can do whatever I want no matter how stupid or silly it is or how dorky or intelligent it is because I’m the only one that knows and when the phone rings I feel interrupted and I don’t like it. Oh well, live & learn as they say. I usually play on the computer or I crochet and I like to watch old movies too or I like shopping at Goodwill too.

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image-in-ing: weekly photo linkup 6th October 2016 - 10:00 am

I love to curl up with a good book during my alone time.
Thanks for sharing at http://image-in-ing.blogspot.com/2016/10/playing-with-photoshop.html

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Lianne 6th October 2016 - 2:21 pm

Nowadays alone time is rare for me, I have 2 children, and I work from home when my little one is in bed, so time with my OH on my nights off are sparse, but if he’s ever working late or going out I’m treated to a little alone time. I LOVE IT!! I’ll sometimes do a little work on my blog, often I’ll pamper myself with a candle lit bath, face mask, paint my nails and I love to catch up on cheesy TV, Netflix or read a book!

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Susan Mary Malone 6th October 2016 - 2:28 pm

We’re all a mix of different traits, and many of us are introverts 🙂 As a novelist, I can vouch that living in my head has paid huge dividends. And while yes, life is a balance, it sounds as though you’re quite happy with where you are! Embrace it.

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Erinn Sluka 6th October 2016 - 5:27 pm

I am a bit of a home body and even if we get a date night I still worry when he’s in someone else’s care even if it’s family

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Karren Haller 6th October 2016 - 5:36 pm

There was a time when I had lots of social activities, shopped and dined with friends, got together for crafts but as I have remarried and am with my husband 24-7, I find that I like my time alone, I shop, dine, travel on my own. Most of my friends are online and that works for me. So alone time can be great.

Thank you for sharing your blog on my Friday Features this past week!
Have a great day!
Karren

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Lisa (Travel Loving Family) 6th October 2016 - 8:54 pm

Completely agree. Would be happy if I never set foot inside a nightclub ever again!

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Nikki 7th October 2016 - 2:36 pm

I love some alone time just snuggled up on the couch watching tv! Cant beat it!

http://www.sparklesatmidnight.com

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Kimberly 7th October 2016 - 7:14 pm

I like a bit of both. I enjoy being on my own for a bit of time like when my son is at school. This is usually when I can get things done and have some peace of mind. But I also enjoy being around people and on occasion going out somewhere but it has to be the right setting or I feel uncomfortable and out of place. I am a rather awkward person so being in a comfortable setting helps.

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Candace 7th October 2016 - 7:50 pm

I have to have a bit of me time every day. A time when I just shut the world out and am left with just my own thoughts

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Jenni 8th October 2016 - 9:48 pm

Theres nothing wrong with spending time by yourself and I think I appreciate it more now I am a mum x

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Kara Guppy 9th October 2016 - 8:12 pm

I love staying in although I wouldn’t say I am an introvert – if you can persuade me out of the house I do love to party

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Jodie 9th October 2016 - 9:15 pm

I think it’s important to enjoy your own company. I enjoy reading blogs like this, watching netflix in the background and catching up on emails. I remember reading an autobiography (I won’t say who as it’s embarrassing, but the sentiment is good) which said it is important to be ok alone. Many aren’t. Unfortunately my ex told me that I have no “real” hobbies, which has stuck in my head as I want to do stuff I enjoy in my spare time. You should be proud of being alone; it’s essential

http://planetjodie.blogspot.co.uk

J x

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Helen Gandy 12th October 2016 - 9:18 pm

I am so like this and was just like you in school!! I love having my own time, especially since having kids, sometimes I just sit and absorb the peace!! Lovely post and thanks for linking up #bestandworst

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lau 22nd October 2016 - 12:58 pm

i was always the one in the group who would be up for anything at weekends going out at night for a drink, a dance, parties, and afternoons for a coffee, walks, shopping, etc.
Now I changed and i enjoy spending time with my friends but not in a club full of people -more like having a drink at a fancy place or terrace. But I really like alone time too, a lot!! Afternoons at home with a book, nights in with a good film or series… the key is to balance it all

xx
lau
http://www.malibluemymind.com

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candy 22nd October 2016 - 1:13 pm

Even as a kid I wanted my along time and all my children are the same. We call it being in our bubble. I always respect a persons along time.

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Diamond 22nd October 2016 - 2:36 pm

Have you ever heard “don’t take it personal” by Monica? This song speaks to me.

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Elizabeth | Ellie & Elizabeth 22nd October 2016 - 4:18 pm

I’m like you in a lot of ways, but I do love to go out with one or two friends. Groups aren’t my thing. I’ve never had an issue with going to a movie alone or out to eat, it’s just enjoyable to have some quiet time. I also think the Internet fills the need for interaction for some people.

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Elizabeth | Ellie & Elizabeth 22nd October 2016 - 4:18 pm

I’m like you in a lot of ways, but I do love to go out with one or two friends. Groups aren’t my thing. I’ve never had an issue with going to a movie alone or out to eat, it’s just enjoyable to have some quiet time. I also think the Internet fills the need for interaction for some people.

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Clarissa 22nd October 2016 - 4:42 pm

Alone time is so precious – I live with two boys so I spend it watching Sex and the City while working out in front of the tv or pinteresting my heart out, lol

-Clarissa @ The View From Here

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Mel 26th October 2016 - 11:26 pm

I think it’s a really good thing to be happy in your own company and not need someone with you at all times. I think it makes you strong and independant.
My son who is now 31 was shy and a bit of a loner when he was at school he loved to draw, read and make things and was happy being at home, I often tried to get him to go to the park to play football or hang out with the other kids but he really didn’t want to. Then at 14 he discovered skateboarding, well he was never home! he made loads of good friends and suddenly had an active life full of fun.
I really think so long as you are happy or your kids are happy in doing whatever they want to do leave well alone we are all different, I was the outgoing type who never wanted to be at home I wanted to be out constantly having fun and hang out with friends, i still don’t like being alone much and could never go on holiday alone I kind of wish I liked my own company more and didn’t get bored if I wasn’t busy. It just takes all sorts eh!

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